


Through Glass

by Raven_Shadowrose



Series: Worlds Collide [1]
Category: Ghostbusters (2016), Ghostbusters - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, Singing, Through Glass, Warm Fuzzies, stone sour - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-07
Updated: 2016-08-14
Packaged: 2018-08-07 07:41:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7706167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raven_Shadowrose/pseuds/Raven_Shadowrose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jillian Holtzmann finds herself in a bar after a long day of Ghostbusting where she meets someone she finds a little interesting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Through Glass

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own any of the characters from Ghostbusters, Elizabeth is mine though. Stone Sour own all the rights to the song Through Glass I do not give permission for this work to be reproduced anywhere else. I'm not making any money from this piece.

Holtzmann found herself in a bar not far from the firehouse after a particularly difficult day, she had chosen it because it looked dark from outside. In the darkness she would be able to sit in peace and try to work through the events of the day. The darkness meant that she would be invisible for a little while. Saving the world does come with a downside, it means that almost everyone knows the faces of those that were heroes for that brief period of time.

It had been very busy with ghosts crawling out of almost every building in the local area. After putting the kit away and showering after the last call of day, everyone had gone their separate ways to unwind. Patty had gone home to read, Abby had gone in search of some decent wonton soup, and Erin had taken the footage of the day home with her to do some editing. Holtzmann took the chance to blend into the scenery and go unnoticed, something that did not happen too often these days. She sighed quietly and took a sip of her drink, she hoped she would be able to stay invisible for a while longer.

There was a little stage in the corner of the room and several people had been on it singing, Holtzmann guessed that it was some sort of open mic night where anyone could sing. Some of the performers had been good, though others needed to do some work on their singing. There had been a little break, but now there was a woman on the stage holding an acoustic guitar, she looked as if she was tuning it up.

Holtzmann took in every detail of the woman preparing herself on the stage, the short sleeved shirt she was wearing showed a full sleeve tattoo on her right arm of some impressively detailed roses. The other arm was tattooed with a feather and some little stars near to her wrist. Holtzmann wondered if those tattoos had any meaning to the woman on the stage, she supposed that they did. A flick of the wrist to move some of the black hair behind her ear revealed a dragon earring that started at the top and curled around her ear with the tail settled on her earlobe. Holtzmann had been so engrossed in watching the woman prepare for her song that she missed what her name was. She let her eyes drift to the black trousers the woman wore and what looked like a heavy pair of boots. It was obvious from the make up around her eyes and the clothing that the woman was anything but ordinary.

The drink that was next to Holtzmann was all but forgotten, her attention was totally focused on the woman on the stage, she wondered what song had been chosen by her. She guessed that the woman wouldn't be singing some screaming metal song as the guitar was not made for that. She held her breath as a few strokes across the guitar strings were accompanied by the woman talking about why she had chosen the song she would be singing.

 

_I'm looking at you through the glass_  
_Don't know how much time has passed_  
_Oh God, it feels like forever_  
_But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home_  
_Sitting all alone inside your head_

_'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass_  
_Don't know how much time has passed_  
_All I know is that it feels like forever_  
_When no one ever tells you that forever feels like home_  
_Sitting all alone inside your head_

 

Holtzmann found herself leaning across the table to listen closer to the words that were coming from the woman's mouth. There was a brittle vulnerability to the singing voice the woman was using and Holtzmann wondered if it was because people had ridiculed the woman for being different. She had felt like that when the Ghostbusters had started up and people had called them frauds, it had affected Erin and Abby the most, it had hurt her to see her friends in so much pain. It was strange how people had changed their minds after all those ghosts had flooded the city, now they were heroes.

 

_How do you feel? That is the question_  
_But I forget, you don't expect an easy answer_  
_When something like a soul becomes initialized_  
_And folded up like paper dolls and little notes_  
_You can't expect a bit of hope_  
_And while you're outside looking in_  
_Describing what you see_  
_Remember what you're staring at is me_

 

The words from the song seemed to seep into Holtzmann's soul, just as the judgement from people on the outside of it all had back at the beginning. The people that had judged them for going after ghosts had not seen the destruction caused in the lives of people living with a haunting. She had seen people too scared to go into their own homes through being attacked and hurt every time they entered the door. Who would help those people if herself, Abby, Erin and Patty did not? Helping people made the judgement of those who don't want to understand all worth it.

 

_'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass_  
_Don't know how much time has passed_  
_All I know is that it feels like forever_  
_When no one ever tells you that forever feels like home_  
_Sitting all alone inside your head_

 

Holtzmann's attention was back on the woman singing, her voice seemed to waver every time she sang about sitting all alone, it made her wonder if the woman was lonely. Did she not have a family or a lover to go home to? She thought about her family, they had all but abandoned her when she had refused to give into their demands to give up her work in nuclear engineering. Her mother had always told her that it was unladylike to be working with machines all day. Holtzmann wondered for a brief moment if they knew she was now a Ghostbuster, they would be scandalised that she was making such a spectacle of herself.

 

_How much is real? So much to question_  
_An epidemic of the mannequins_  
_Contaminating everything_  
_When thought came from the heart_  
_It never did right from the start_  
_Just listen to the noises_  
_(No more sad voices)_  
_Before you tell yourself_  
_It's just a different scene_  
_Remember it's just different from what you've seen_

 

The words of the verse made sense to Holtzmann, many people prided themselves on being normal, on fitting in and being the same as the people around them. She wondered if they were afraid of being different, of standing out from the crowd. She thought about herself, she had always stood out from the crowd. Holtzmann smiled briefly, nobody could ever call her normal, she would always fight it with everything she had. She would still be running around in overalls that had been stained with paint or singed in the lab during an experiment in her eighties. She allowed herself to imagine that the woman on the stage would be the same with her individual looks as well.

 

_I'm looking at you through the glass_  
_Don't know how much time has passed_  
_And all I know is that it feels like forever_  
_When no one ever tells you that forever feels like home_  
_Sitting all alone inside your head_

_'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass_  
_Don't know how much time has passed_  
_All I know is that it feels like forever_  
_When no one ever tells you that forever feels like home_  
_Sitting all alone inside your head_

Holtzmann was now well attuned to the little break in the voice of the woman every time she sang about being alone, she was certain that there was a great deal of loneliness in her life. A squeeze of her heart alerted Holtzmann to the idea that she wanted to help the woman feel a bit less lonely in the city they both inhabited. She examined her motives for wanting to help her, there was a large part of her that thought the woman was very beautiful. A bigger part of her wanted to help someone else find the happiness she had found with the Ghostbusters. Abby had given her a job when everyone else took one look at her appearance and turned her away. Erin could always be counted upon to be there when she needed someone to talk to. Patty brought a light to everything, no matter how dark it all seemed to be. Holtzmann smiled again, the thoughts of her friends had given her a very warm feeling in her chest.

 

_And it's the stars_  
_The stars that shine for you_  
_And it's the stars_  
_The stars that lie to you_

_And it's the stars_  
_The stars that shine for you_  
_And it's the stars_  
_The stars that lie to you_

  
A wave of confusion ran through Holtzmann, she wondered if the woman meant the stars of the sky or the stars that some people revered and worshipped as Gods. She was almost certain that it was the latter as they made people think they have to look and be a certain way to be worthy of the good things in life. The world worships the conventionally beautiful and gifted, those that are unusual or considered ugly are left behind to fend for themselves. Holtzmann sighed, the world was a hard place to live in for some people, she wished that everything could be fairer to those who needed a lucky break but never got one.

 

_I'm looking at you through the glass_  
_Don't know how much time has passed_  
_Oh God, it feels like forever_  
_But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home_  
_Sitting all alone inside your head_

_'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass_  
_Don't know how much time has passed_  
_All I know is that it feels like forever_  
_But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home_  
_Sitting all alone inside your head_

  


Holtzmann found herself leaning further forward, the woman's voice had got quieter as she sang the song, she noticed a few people in the audience doing the same. She took the time to study the woman's face, she had her eyes closed as she sang. It looked to Holtzmann as though she was trying to hold back her emotions in case they came flooding out as tears. She felt her heart squeeze again, there was obviously some real pain held in the heart of the woman on the stage. She took a deep breath, she had decided, she would definitely talk to her once she had finished the song.

 

_And it's the stars_  
_The stars that shine for you_  
_And it's the stars_  
_The stars that lie to you_

_And it's the stars_  
_The stars that shine for you_  
_And it's the stars_  
_The stars that lie to you_

_Who are the stars_  
_Who are the stars they lie_

  


The music faded out and a quiet applause rippled through the audience, Holtzmann watched the woman pack up her guitar in its case, she noticed how sad she looked as well. She waited until the woman had drawn almost level with her and she stood up, she noted how the movement had not gone unnoticed and she smiled. “Hey, I thought you should know, you were amazing up there.” Holtzmann saw the surprise in the woman's eyes, she wondered if anyone had given her a compliment before. “Thank you, that's very kind of you.”  
“I mean it. You look like you're headed off home, but, I'd like to buy you a drink.” She watched the woman hesitate and she smiled. “I promise I don't bite,” she said with a wink.

“Okay, one drink.” Holtzmann smiled, she was glad the woman had agreed to stay.

Holtzmann picked up the drinks she had ordered and she carefully put the wine glass down in front of the woman and took a drink from the rum and coke she had ordered. “First things first, what's your name?” Holtzmann asked.

“Elizabeth.”

“That's pretty, just like you.” Holtzmann detected a faint blush as Elizabeth took a drink from her glass. “I'm Jillian, though my friends call me Holtz.”

“Holtz, is that a nickname?”

“It is, my last name is Holtzmann, they just shorten it.”

“Oh, I see.”

“What do you do, other than sing in this bar?”

“I own an independent coffee and book shop with a friend.”

“Sounds cool, I'm a nuclear engineer.”

“Wow, so you've done a lot of training then?”

“I have, though I struck out on my own with a group of friends, a bit like you, we're an independent company.”

“Sounds interesting.” Holtzmann smiled, it was obvious Elizabeth had a genuine interest in everything that she was saying.

“Where are you from originally, your accent is definitely not American?”

“I'm from a small village in England, just outside of Cambridge.”

“A beautiful English rose so far away from home.”

“I suppose that's true, I am far away from where I was born.”

“Why did you leave?” Holtzmann noticed that Elizabeth had stiffened as she had asked the question. “You don't have to tell me if it's something you don't want to talk about.”

“Thank you.” Holtzmann noted the relief in Elizabeth's voice.

“I left my home too, my parents did not approve of me wanting to go into science, apparently it's not ladylike. The final straw was when I came out as a lesbian, my mother said I had shamed the family.”

“I'm sorry, that's a horrible thing for someone to say to their daughter.”

“I'm over it, I have a family that loves me now, they are the best friends that anyone could ask for.”

“Glad to hear it.”

“What about you, do you have friends here?”

“Only the one, I find it hard to get to know people.”

“Well, you know me now, so you can say you have two friends. I can introduce you to the rest of the women I work with, I think they will like you.”

“Maybe one day, if you're not busy that is.”

“I think we will find the time, we'll drop in for a coffee.” Holtzmann saw a smile play across Elizabeth's lips and she smiled back.

Holtzmann listened to Elizabeth as she talked about the shop she owned, it was obvious that she had a passion for food and books. She let her carry on talking as she liked listening to her, her eyes lit up when she talked about something she was passionate about. “Elizabeth, do you have a boyfriend?”

“No, I don't have boyfriends.” She wondered if that meant Elizabeth was not interested in men and her preference ran to women or she had given up on men because they had hurt her. She wanted to ask her, though she was wary of frightening her off now that she had started talking a bit more. Holtzmann tucked the question away for the future, there would be time enough to ask her when she was more comfortable with their friendship.

A few more minutes conversation passed between Holtzmann and Elizabeth before Elizabeth looked at her watch. “I'm sorry, I have to go, I have an early start tomorrow morning. We have an order for a client that is going to take most of the day to get ready.”

“I'm sorry too, it has been nice to talk to such a beautiful and talented woman.” Holtzmann saw a smile bloom on Elizabeth's face and a little blush to go with it. “I tell you what, I'll give you my number so you can call me and we can talk about those tattoos of yours.” She scribbled the number down on a napkin from the bar and wrote her name on it, when she was done she handed it to Elizabeth. She watched as Elizabeth tucked the number carefully into her bag and zipped the pocket shut. “Here, you should take this, it has my number on it.” Holtzmann took the business card that Elizabeth held out and she carefully put it into the pocket of her trousers.

Once Elizabeth had picked up her guitar, Holtzmann walked outside with her to flag down a taxi. “Make sure you're careful going home, there are some strange people in this city.”

“I know, I have been here for a year, I have seen some odd ones in that time.”

“Do I count as odd?” Holtzmann asked with a cheeky smile.

“Not at all, compared to some you are perfectly normal.”

“Normal, no one has ever called me that before.”

“Don't worry about those who say you're not normal, they don't know what they are talking about.” Holtzmann acted on impulse and she hugged Elizabeth, she felt her stiffen and then relax into the hug. “I don't, most of the time, my friends accept my weirdness.”

“Good, glad to hear it.”

Holtzmann heard a taxi pull up outside the bar, it saddened her as she knew that Elizabeth would be getting into it and going home. She wanted to talk to her some more, though she knew that she would not be able to keep her. She held open the door to the taxi and closed it once Elizabeth had got inside. “I'll call you,” Holtzmann said through the open window. “We can talk some more.”

“I'd like that.”

“Me too.”

“Goodnight Jillian, or would you prefer if I used your nickname?”

“You can use my nickname.”

“Then, goodnight Holtz, talk to you soon.”

“Goodnight Elizabeth.” Holtzmann watched the taxi leave until she could no longer see it and she whispered, “Goodnight, my English Rose.”

 


	2. Through Glass, from the other side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elizabeth's take on the events that happened in the previous chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been tempted to write more on this one, there is something about Elizabeth's character that calls to me :)

**Chapter Two.... Through Glass, from the other side.**

 

Elizabeth sat in the bar and tried to contain her nerves as she waited for her name to be called for her spot on the open stage. It had been a long time since she had sang anything in public and she feared that it would be obvious to everyone listening. She brushed her fingers across the strings of the guitar and held her breath as she counted to ten. The small glass of wine she had ordered had done little to calm her nerves, though she did not want to drink anything else as she would be singing soon.

She had heard very little of the acts that had previously performed on the stage, she was too focused on the song that she would be performing and remembering the words. The half an hour break was going too quickly for Elizabeth's liking, she would be the first on once it was over. She took another deep breath and tried to stand up, it was time to check her guitar and make sure it was ready for use.

Elizabeth tried to focus on the task at hand, she needed make sure that the tuning was right now that she was inside the warmth of the bar. She gently adjusted the tension on each of the strings until the sound was perfect, as she moved down each of the strings she became aware of the gaze of someone watching her. She looked around the room, but she was enable to work out who was watching her more closely than the rest.

Once the guitar was fully tuned, Elizabeth moved to the microphone and she brushed her hair back behind her ear as she checked it was turned on and at the right volume for everyone to hear her. She checked the angle of the microphone to make sure it would be where she needed it to be when she sat down, the person that had used it before had been a lot taller than her. The feeling that she as being watched returned once she had prepared her equipment and sat down to let the owner of the bar introduce her to the small crowd.

Elizabeth felt her nerves rise as she grew ever closer to beginning her song and she let her fingers drift over the strings of the guitar. “Good evening everyone, I want to tell you a little bit about the song I will be singing tonight.” She paused and took a deep breath before continuing. “Being different is hard, there are many people who will put others down simply because of the way they look or what they are into. It takes courage to be different and go against what is considered normal. I sing this song whenever I need a reminder to be strong and remain true to myself. I hope that if there is anyone out there who is struggling to be themselves that they take some strength from these words.” She looked out over the crowd and hoped that they would like the song.

 

_I'm looking at you through the glass_  
_Don't know how much time has passed_  
_Oh God, it feels like forever_  
_But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home_  
_Sitting all alone inside your head_

 

_'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass_   
_Don't know how much time has passed_   
_All I know is that it feels like forever_   
_When no one ever tells you that forever feels like home_   
_Sitting all alone inside your head_

 

A rush of memories hit Elizabeth in the chest; memories of being told not to daydream and to live in the real world. She felt other memories start to bubble to the surface, all the times she had been called a freak or bullied because she wanted to believe in worlds where magic where was real. She remembered all the times when the other children at school had bullied her so much that she had eventually stopped talking about all the things that had once made her happy.

_How do you feel? That is the question_   
_But I forget, you don't expect an easy answer_   
_When something like a soul becomes initialized_   
_And folded up like paper dolls and little notes_   
_You can't expect a bit of hope_   
_And while you're outside looking in_   
_Describing what you see_   
_Remember what you're staring at is me_

 

Elizabeth tried to remember what it was like to feel something, she had closed herself off from other people to avoid the pain of being judged by others. She remembered all the times that people had been quick to judge her and decide they did not want to be friends because she was too weird. She remembered all the times she had sat alone because nobody wanted to be friends with someone they had decided was a weirdo. She also remembered all the times that people had stared once she had started dressing in a way that normal people did not. She almost cried out in pain when she remembered the day that her hope of being accepted for who she was had died.

 

_'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass_   
_Don't know how much time has passed_   
_All I know is that it feels like forever_   
_When no one ever tells you that forever feels like home_   
_Sitting all alone inside your head_

 

Elizabeth heard her voice start to waver as she sang the last line of the chorus, her memories of all the time she had spent alone were still at the front of her mind. She remembered all the nights she had spent awake worrying that she would always be on her own. She also remembered the nights she had cried so hard that she had fallen asleep out of exhaustion. There were times when she wished she was able to be normal, that she would be able to fit in with society. She briefly recalled the time when she had stopped being herself to try and fit in. She also remembered the pain she had felt because she had not been true to herself.

 

_How much is real? So much to question_   
_An epidemic of the mannequins_   
_Contaminating everything_   
_When thought came from the heart_   
_It never did right from the start_   
_Just listen to the noises_   
_(No more sad voices)_   
_Before you tell yourself_   
_It's just a different scene_   
_Remember it's just different from what you've seen_

 

The lesson that trying to be normal only caused her pain had been learned quickly by Elizabeth. She hated looking like everyone else, she wanted to be herself, she promised herself she would never put herself through that pain ever again. She promised that she would always listen to her heart and do the things that made her happy, even if it upset the people around her. Elizabeth smiled a little bit, she would always be herself, she would still be listening to heavy metal and wearing the shirts of the bands she loved when she was well into her eighties.

 

_I'm looking at you through the glass_   
_Don't know how much time has passed_   
_And all I know is that it feels like forever_   
_When no one ever tells you that forever feels like home_   
_Sitting all alone inside your head_

_'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass_   
_Don't know how much time has passed_   
_All I know is that it feels like forever_   
_When no one ever tells you that forever feels like home_   
_Sitting all alone inside your head_

 

Elizabeth finally allowed herself a quick look at the audience, she noted that none of them looked as though they truly hated what she was singing. She gave herself permission to relax a little bit and let the emotions released by the song wash over her. Elizabeth scanned the audience, she felt someone watching her, the intensity of their gaze almost knocked her off the seat that she was using. She tried her hardest to see the person that was watching her, though it was too dark in the audience for her to see who it was. Elizabeth turned her attention back to the song, maybe whoever it was would reveal themselves to her once she had finished singing.

 

_And it's the stars_   
_The stars that shine for you_   
_And it's the stars_   
_The stars that lie to you_

_And it's the stars_   
_The stars that shine for you_   
_And it's the stars_   
_The stars that lie to you_

 

The words of the little bridge in the song had always made sense to Elizabeth, the world lied to everyone, it always worshipped the conventionally beautiful. It lied to young girls about how they had to beautiful to be worth anything. It told them lies about how their intelligence meant nothing and they should become the wife of someone rich and powerful and concentrate on making babies. There would always be some people who shined brighter because they had been blessed with perfect genes and were worshipped because they had been born lucky.

 

_I'm looking at you through the glass_   
_Don't know how much time has passed_   
_Oh God, it feels like forever_   
_But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home_   
_Sitting all alone inside your head_

_'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass_   
_Don't know how much time has passed_   
_All I know is that it feels like forever_   
_But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home_   
_Sitting all alone inside your head_

Elizabeth felt the control she had over her emotions slipping away from her, she closed her eyes tight to try and stop the tears she felt gathering from falling. She could not cry in front of a room of people, crying in public was something to be avoided. She remembered being taught that a strong woman did not show her emotions to others, she kept them inside and away from the world. Elizabeth lowered her voice as she sang, she would only make it through the rest of it if she kept her emotions in check.

 

_And it's the stars_   
_The stars that shine for you_   
_And it's the stars_   
_The stars that lie to you_

_And it's the stars_   
_The stars that shine for you_   
_And it's the stars_   
_The stars that lie to you_

_Who are the stars_   
_Who are the stars they lie_

 

Elizabeth breathed out a sigh of relief, she had made it through the song without betraying her emotions to the audience. She felt an edge of sadness around her eyes, though it would only be seen by anyone that was truly looking for it, she was certain she could mask it from everyone in the room. She packed up her guitar in its case and she was making her way towards the entrance when a woman in the audience stood up and smiled.

She took in the details of the woman that was now stood in front of her; she had on a pair of glasses with yellow lenses in them, the blonde hair was pinned back, but it was working its way loose here and there. She was wearing a mismatched shirt, waistcoat and trousers, and a battered leather jacket. She also looked to be wearing a pair of black boots under the trousers. Elizabeth noted that none of what she was wearing would work for anyone else, but it seemed totally right for her. “Hey, I thought you should know, you were amazing up there.” Elizabeth felt the surprise instantly replace the sad feelings she had been having, no one had ever complimented her singing before. “Thank you, that's very kind of you.”  
“I mean it. You look like you're headed off home, but, I'd like to buy you a drink.” Elizabeth hesitated, she wasn't sure what the woman wanted from her. She was sure that she was going to say no and then the woman smiled, Elizabeth felt her conviction of saying no completely cave in. “I promise I don't bite,” the woman said with a wink. Elizabeth tried her hardest to bring the blush she felt creeping up her face under control, she felt as though she was being flirted with. “Okay, one drink.” The woman smiled again and Elizabeth felt it right through to her core.

Elizabeth took a small drink of the wine that had been put in front of her, she felt nervous now that was she was the centre of attention of the woman that was sat in front of her. She watched her take a drink and then put the glass down. “First things first, what's your name?”

“Elizabeth.”

“That's pretty, just like you.” Elizabeth felt the beginning of a blush, it was the first time a woman had called her pretty and not thrown an insult her way. “I'm Jillian, though my friends call me Holtz.” She wondered where Jillian had got the name from, it was very unusual.

“Holtz, is that a nickname?”

“It is, my last name is Holtzmann, they just shorten it.”  
“Oh, I see.” Elizabeth momentarily wondered where Jillian's parents were from and if she had been born in America or somewhere else and moved here.

A few moments of quiet passed and Elizabeth waited for Jillian to start talking again, she was wondering if she should ask her something when Jillian spoke. “What do you do, other than sing in this bar?”

“I own an independent coffee and book shop with a friend.”  
“Sounds cool, I'm a nuclear engineer.”  
“Wow, so you've done a lot of training then?”  
“I have, though I struck out on my own with a group of friends, a bit like you, we're an independent company.”  
“Sounds interesting.” Elizabeth was genuinely interested in what Jillian had to say, it was obvious that she was intelligent woman with a passion for her work.  
Elizabeth noted that Jillian was interested in her, she always looked directly at her when she was talking. “Where are you from originally, your accent is definitely not American?”  
“I'm from a small village in England, just outside of Cambridge.”  
“A beautiful English rose so far away from home.”  
“I suppose that's true, I am far away from where I was born.”  
“Why did you leave?” Elizabeth felt every muscle in her body tense, she was not ready to share that information with someone she had only met that evening. She would have to build up to telling Jillian anything about her past and the reasons she had left England behind. “You don't have to tell me if it's something you don't want to talk about.”  
“Thank you.” Elizabeth heard the relief in her voice, she was glad that Jillian understood and hadn't been offended by her reluctance to share that information with her. “I left my home too, my parents did not approve of me wanting to go into science, apparently it's not ladylike. The final straw was when I came out as a lesbian, my mother said I had shamed the family.”

“I'm sorry, that's a horrible thing for someone to say to their daughter.”

“I'm over it, I have a family that loves me now, they are the best friends that anyone could ask for.”

“Glad to hear it.”

“What about you, do you have friends here?”

“Only the one, I find it hard to get to know people.”

“Well, you know me now, so you can say you have two friends. I can introduce you to the rest of the women I work with, I think they will like you.”

“Maybe one day, if you're not busy that is.”

“I think we will find the time, we'll drop in for a coffee.” Elizabeth smiled, though she was wondering why some parents were so keen on telling their daughters who they can and cannot be. She wondered if those parents knew how much pain the caused their children and if they cared what it did to them.

Elizabeth talked about the shop that she owned and the books that she liked, anything to try and take her mind off the ghosts of her past, the memories were still painful. She noticed that Jillian was taking in her every word and every so often she would smile. It was new to Elizabeth to meet someone so genuinely interested in her that hadn't written her off as a freak or weird. She had almost stopped waiting for the inevitable judgement to begin and the insults to be thrown her way. There was something about Jillian that made Elizabeth feel more comfortable in herself and she felt herself starting to trust the woman that was sat in front of her.

There was a moment when Elizabeth found herself watching Jillian, she noticed that the woman was almost always moving even though she was sat down. Her fingers were making little doodles across the table or she shifted in her seat from time to time. She wondered if Jillian was always on the move when she was at work, she seemed to have a lot of energy for someone that had been up all day. Elizabeth looked at Jillian again, she looked vaguely familiar, though she couldn't quite place where she had seen her before.

Elizabeth snapped out of her thoughts when she heard Jillian starting to speak again, “Elizabeth, do you have a boyfriend?”

“No, I don't have boyfriends.” She wondered why Jillian was asking her about a boyfriend, did it mean that she could be interested in her? She felt her heart rate quicken, no, that couldn't be it, could it? Elizabeth tried to push down the idea that Jillian could be interested in her, but it was there and it was blooming at an extremely quick rate. She wondered if Jillian had noticed that she was a bit uncomfortable as she had changed the subject and talked about something else.

An awareness of time crept up on Elizabeth and she looked at her watch, she would have to leave as she had to be up early in the morning. “I'm sorry, I have to go, I have an early start tomorrow morning. We have an order for a client that is going to take most of the day to get ready.”

“I'm sorry too, it has been nice to talk to such a beautiful and talented woman.” Elizabeth couldn't help the smile or the accompanying blush that came with it, something about the warmth of Jillian's words let her know they were genuine. “I tell you what, I'll give you my number so you can call me and we can talk about those tattoos of yours.” Jillian took a pen from her pocket and scribbled her name and number down on a napkin. She took the number from her and carefully put it into the pocket of her bag, zipping it up so she wouldn't lose it. “Here, you should take this, it has my number on it.” Elizabeth felt Jillian's fingers brush against hers as she took the business card that she held out, she watched her tuck it away in the pocket of her trousers.

Elizabeth picked up her guitar and she started walking towards the door, it surprised her when Jillian walked with her, she hadn't expected the other woman to walk her out. “Make sure you're careful going home, there are some strange people in this city.”

“I know, I have been here for a year, I have seen some odd ones in that time.”

“Do I count as odd?” Elizabeth saw the cheeky smile that had spread across Jillian's face, she was obviously expecting to be told that she was weird. “Not at all, compared to some you are perfectly normal.”

“Normal, no one has ever called me that before.”

“Don't worry about those who say you're not normal, they don't know what they are talking about.” Elizabeth found herself drawn into a hug and the unexpected nature of the hug caused her to stiffen. She told herself to relax, that Jillian wouldn't hurt her, she was not like anyone from her past. “I don't, most of the time, my friends accept my weirdness.”

“Good, glad to hear it.”

A taxi pulled up outside the bar, Elizabeth was a bit sad that it had stopped so soon, it meant that she had to leave to go home. She smiled when Jillian held the door to the taxi open for her, it was an almost gentlemanly gesture. Jillian leaned against the side of the taxi, “I'll call you,” she said through the open window. “We can talk some more.”

“I'd like that.”

“Me too.”

“Goodnight Jillian, or would you prefer if I used your nickname?”

“You can use my nickname.”

“Then, goodnight Holtz, talk to you soon.”

“Goodnight Elizabeth.”

Elizabeth turned and looked out of the back window, she saw that Jillian was standing there and watching the taxi as it drove away with her in it. She wondered what had happened that evening that meant she had met someone nice. She also wondered where she had seen Jillian before, her face was definitely familiar, maybe she would look her up on the internet at some point. Elizabeth caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror in the front of the taxi, there was a look in her eyes that she hadn't seen in a long time, hope.

 


End file.
